[WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM -- MARCH 2020]
Rows of reporters six feet apart, microphones wrapped in cling film.
President Jeb Brush steps up, holding a bottle of sanitizer that glitters like champagne. Label reads: “Jeb! Clean Hands for America.”

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
When the world caught a fever,
America got a mild case of manners.

PRESIDENT JEB BRUSH:
We’ll stay calm, stay kind, and—
(glances at label)
—stay citrus-scented.
Let’s flatten the curve without flattening our neighbors.

Reporters blink. One actually says ‘thank you!’

Montage:

• Grocery lines six feet apart, polite to a fault.

• Free drive-through testing where the volunteers sing “Lean on Me.”

• Masks embroidered “Jeb!” in cheerful fonts.

• Late-night comedians calling it The Oatmeal Administration.

• Hand-sanitizer shortage solved when Louisiana-based Macy Distilleries retools its perfume plant.

LOUISIANA SENATOR MARJORIE NICOLE MACY: (on FIX News):
Competent, but uninspired.
History won’t remember how many lives he saved,
only that he apologized for inconveniencing anyone.

FIX NEWS ANCHOR CARLSON WATTERS:
Thank you very much for being with us tonight, Marjorie —
Republican senator from Louisiana, and heir to the Macy Distilleries dynasty.


Cut to — [KENT COUNTY BASEBALL STADIUM -- EMPTY 2020 SEASON]
A tarp flaps where Opening Day should’ve been.
Jumbotron headline: “AMERICA ON STRIKE!”

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
Sports shut down. So the next guy made Strike a brand.

[ONLINE CLIPS — STRIKE TV CHANNEL]
Ronald Strike broadcasting nightly from his gilded basement:

RONALD STRIKE:
Look at Mr. Nice Guy over there — bowling a gutter ball with your freedom!
This isn’t a pandemic — it’s a panic-demic!

Crowd of digital followers cheers with emoji bats and bowling pins.

HEADLINES ROLL ACROSS MULTIPLE NETWORKS:

STRIKE ONE: Economy Down But Morale High

STRIKE TWO: MAGA Loyalists Take Aim at Mask Mandate

STRIKE THREE: Jeb’s in Dugout — Is America Ready to Swing Big Again?

[OVAL OFFICE -- MAY 2020]
Papers stacked in symmetrical calm. JEB BRUSH reads from notes, not a teleprompter.

PRESIDENT BRUSH (on-air):
We’re not declaring war on a virus.
We’re declaring cooperation on a challenge.
If we stay cordial, containment follows.

He underlines the word “cordial” twice.

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
History won’t quote that line. It was too polite to trend.
But it kept people home for three more weeks without a fight—
which, in this country, is a miracle.

MONTAGE — “Cordial Containment”

• Governors on conference calls saying “you first” instead of “your fault.”

• A nurse tucking a thank-you note into her face shield.

• Cable chyrons: “BORING BUT WORKING.”

• Zoom school, porch guitars, neighbors waving from driveways.

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
Half the nation yawned through the crisis.
Half prayed it would stay that dull.
Turns out, you can save lives with oatmeal.

* * * * *
[PRESS BRIEFING ROOM — JUNE 2020]
Reporters masked, six feet apart.

REPORTER:
Mr. President, will you seek re-election?

PRES. BRUSH (pauses, gentle)
I have a pandemic to worry about — not an election.
We’re still sick.
And I don’t mean just the country.

Gasps under muffled cloth. Aides glance at each other.

The presidential seal flickers off a TV screen in a half-empty bar.

PRES. JEB BRUSH:
I’m grateful for the chance to serve.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that quiet doesn’t trend.
(deep breath)
I am here to announce that I will not seek, nor will I accept, my party’s nomination for re-election as president of the United States in 2020.

He waves. Cameras click. One bulb burns out mid-flash.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
The man left office the same way he entered—politely.
History will call it low-energy.
Maybe Heaven calls it restraint.

* * * * *
Split-Screen—
Left side: Ronald Strike rally — fireworks, noise, red glow.
Right side: Jeb Brush retirement BBQ—plastic chairs, blue dusk.
Both screens fade to black.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
The safest man in America just took his name off the ballot.
And somewhere, a showman checked his microphone.

Cut to — [LIVESTREAM STUDIO / NIGHT]
Ronald Strike’s silhouette before a ring light, grinning at his own reflection.

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
He smelled opportunity like cordite.
They’d had their comfort food.
Now they wanted spice.

MONTAGE —

• Tech-icon NICOLAI VENN livestreaming PPE donations: “We’re all in this together, folks.”

• Trending hashtag #VennSavesTheDay.

• Political blogs muttering, “Silicon Savior or Stock Manipulator?”

NARRATOR / LUNDY (V-O):
The world’s first trillionaire was just learning how good it felt to be worshiped.

[OVAL OFFICE -- JULY 2020]
President Brush signs the first of several stimulus bills. Aides applaud softly.

PRESIDENT BRUSH:
Quiet doesn’t trend. But sometimes it’s the only cure.

He sets down the pen. Outside, spring birdsong slips through the window.

* * * * * 

NARRATOR/LUNDY (on screen):
Half the country’s doom-scrolling banana-bread recipes.
The other half’s buying pitchforks online.
You could measure the nation’s pulse by Wi-Fi speed.

MONTAGE — “Cordial Containment Year Two”

• Governors sharing spreadsheets instead of blame.

• A supply-chain czar actually returning phone calls.

• Stadiums as vaccine sites with free coffee and polite clapping.

• Headline: “BRUSH ADMIN.: TWO MILLION SHOTS A DAY — NO DRAMA.”

NARRATOR/LUNDY:
Turns out we flattened more than the curve.
We flattened the ratings.

Cut to — [LIVING ROOM AMERICA]
Couple on couch, masks hanging from one ear, watching the tenth press briefing of the week.

HUSBAND:
He’s… competent.

WIFE:
Yeah, but could he at least yell once?

* * * * *

Cut to — [RONALD STRIKE HQ / BASEMENT STUDIO]
LED ring light haloing Ronald Strike’s face.
Behind him, a green-screen flag ripples like it’s afraid of him.

RONALD STRIKE:
While Sleepy Jeb’s servin’ oatmeal, I’m servin’ freedom!
America’s tired of nap time—let’s wake the hell up!

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
He didn’t need facts; he had fonts.
Bold, blinking, and misspelled.

* * * * *

[DEBATE NIGHT -- VIRTUAL STAGE -- OCTOBER 2020]
Split-screen again: Ronald Strike pacing.
Democratic candidate Sandren Burnes, 70-something, is reading policy from a print-out.

MODERATOR:
Mr. Strike, your plan for vaccine distribution?

RONALD STRIKE:
Simple—let the free market cough on each other till it’s over!

Crowd feed goes wild.

Burnes blinks, smiles sadly.

SANDREN BURNES:
I miss the old days when we disagreed in person.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
It wasn’t so much a debate.
It was a dopamine contest.

CUT TO —
[NICOLAI VENN PRESS CONFERENCE]
Nicolai Venn, tech trillionaire in silver jacket, flanked by servers humming like bees.

NICOLAI VENN:
We’ll donate cloud capacity for the national vaccine registry.
Transparency for everyone.

A beat later—Strike on his stream:

RONALD STRIKE:
See? Even the robot overlord’s on my side!

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
By fall 2000, the virus was fading,
but outrage had herd immunity.

MONTAGE — Economy Reopens:

• Restaurants at half-capacity but full sarcasm.

• “Now Hiring” signs made of duct tape.

• Jeb Brush watching unemployment graphs like EKGs.

• Ronald Strike’s rallies returning to parking lots: car horns as applause.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
Every recovery needs a relapse.
America just chose a loud one.

[FADE OUT]

Sound: faint applause that turns into the rumble of a rally crowd.
Cut to — [ELECTION NIGHT 2020]

Split-screen: half confetti, half disbelief.

MONTAGE — “Strike by a Whisker”

• Late ballots fluttering through scanners.

• Cable maps bleeding red, blue, and migraine purple.

• Sandren Burnes conceding with a handshake emoji.

• Ronald Strike waving from the balcony like a game-show contestant who finally won the car.

• Ticker: DOW SOARS, DECORUM PLUMMETS.

CNS ANCHOR RACHEL RUHLE:
Calm lost to chaos tonight by a slim margin —
and only due to Electoral College.
Turns out, competence doesn’t click “refresh” fast enough.

FIX ANCHOR CARLSON WATTERS:
Freedom triumphs over fear! America Strikes Back!

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
The world survived the virus.
The country caught something harder to cure —
nostalgia for noise.
President-Elect Ronald Strike didn’t steal the show.
We just forgot to change the channel.

* * * * *
MONTAGE — “The Rematch”

• 2024 campaign posters: STRIKE AGAIN / MAKE LOUD PROUD.

• Opponent SANDREN BURNES, now seventy-five, wearing noise-canceling earbuds at debates.

• Crowds chanting over symphonic bass drops.

• Drone cams tracing heart shapes in the sky that burst into AR fireworks.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
Elections used to sound like speeches.
Now they drop like albums.

RONALD STRIKE (at rally):
Who needs policies when you’ve got volume!
America, let’s get LOUD!

Crowd roars; subwoofers shake cameras.

* * * * *
MONTAGE — 2021–24 Transition:

• Jeb Brush opens a library called Quiet Courage.

• Sandren Burnes publishes a memoir no one finishes.

• President Strike broadcasts from Air Force One with a karaoke mic.

• Nicolai Venn’s servers multiply like mirror rooms.

• The country forgets what boredom felt like.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
The pandemic ended.
The performance never did.

FINAL SHOT —
Nicolai Venn alone in his penthouse, TV wall looping Strike’s landslide coverage.
City below flashing red-white like an overclocked heartbeat.

NARRATOR/LUNDY (V-O):
He built the cloud.
We just kept shouting into it.

[FADE OUT]
[END OF EPISODE 2]

President Jeb Brush helped maneuver the American people through the
Covid-19 pandemic.

Two-time Republican presidential candidate Ronald J Strike is broadcasting nightly from his gilded basement.

President Jeb Brush delivered a stunning announcement on live television, that even close aides were not expecting.

Democratic challenger Sandren Burnes lost elections to Republican Ronald Strike in both 2020 and 2024, before retiring from politics and writing a memoir no one finishes.

Marjorie Nicole Macy: Republican senator from Louisiana, and heir to the Macy Distilleries family dynasty.

Narrator
Phil Lundy

Democratic candidate
Sandren Burnes

World’s lone Trillionaire:
Nicolai Venn