Lord Replicate
Lord Replicate
Occupation/Role: Competitive “god” of knock-offs and shortcuts; antagonist in Jesus Moments
Nicknames: Competitive God; The Xerox of Olympus,” “Shortcut Lord,” “Almost Almighty”
Segment: Jesus Moments; Backyard Mythos
Bio: Lord Replicate is the cosmic also-ran. He can copy, tweak, and repackage anything that’s ever existed — but he never quite nails originality. He believes replication is innovation, though his universe usually pokes holes in his “grand ideas.” He’s Coyote to JC’s Roadrunner, forever face-planting but somehow admired for the hustle. Even Jesus admits: “He’s trying harder than most of my disciples ever did.”
Quotes (Pick 5):
“Perfection’s overrated. I can get you close enough for half the cost.”
(Jesus:) “You don’t need another miracle, you need an original thought.”
“Hey, at least my failures come with free samples.”
(Rickles:) “Replicate’s whole business model? Etsy meets Hell.”
“You’ll thank me when you realize I’m cheaper than divine intervention.”
📦 Easter Egg Box Idea:
Illustration of Lord Replicate holding a clipboard or oversized tablet with scribbles like: “NEW IDEA → Call it TikTok but for Psalms???” scratched out. Caption: “Back to the drawing board (again).”
“A god of competitive tinkering, Lord Replicate built his reputation in the minor galaxies. He was dazzling with replicas, prototypes, and ‘better ideas’—always quick to imitate, never shy to claim credit. On the surface, he looked like a genius inventor-god, full of audacious blueprints and lightning-fast solutions. But in practice? His fixes often unraveled under their own weight. Casey never missed a chance to poke holes in his schemes, sending Replicate back to the drawing board. Even Jesus admitted: ‘He’s clever, I’ll give him that’—but clever doesn’t win the marathon. Replicate was the cosmic Coyote, chasing glory he could never quite catch.”
Lord Replicate is good-looking enough to seem credible, smart enough to wave around his oversized pad of ideas, but not transcendent. He’s the guy who keeps pitching, “This time I’ve got it!” … and then Jesus steps in, radiates heart-melting charm, and everyone instantly forgets Lord Replicate was even mid-sentence.
Replicate unveils contraption: “Behold! A self-replicating miracle generator!”
Jesus (half-smiling, hair catching the light): “That’s nice, brother.”
Everyone else: already swooning over Jesus, ignoring the machine.
Casey: “So what happens when it tries to replicate itself?”
Replicate: furrows brow, scribbles again on oversized pad
“The one god who kept losing auditions… mostly because he had to share the room with Jesus.”
“Every great idea deserved a second try… or a tenth.”
“The god of copies who couldn’t make it original enough to last.”
“Jesus chuckled. The Universe poked holes. Lord Replicate tried again.”
Tall, slightly overdone “god” vibe (flowing robes but patched with duct tape and gadgets).
Hands always full of blueprints, gadgets, or some harebrained contraption.
A face that looks smugly confident and one twitch away from exasperated failure.
“Hey Casey, this guy’s like if Thomas Edison and Wile E. Coyote had a baby. Only dumber.”